The Great Maggot Riot.

Submitted by: The Skyeye

Time: Early 1970
Place: West Ft. Hood, Texas

   It was a few days before payday so just about everybody was eating
at the mess hall instead of some greasy spoon in town.  The mess hall
was fairly new, and seated maybe 200 people.  On this particular day,
lunch was "something in gravy over rice” or “something in gravy over
noodles“.

   About half way through lunch some guy stands up and hollers "Hey,
there's maggots in the noodles".  Understand that virtually all the EM
in the mess hall were just back from Nam, and biding their time ‘till
separation.  Anyway, a lot of digging went on to check out the noodles.
After a brief silence, a muttering quickly arose to shouts of: “Yeah Man;
there ARE maggots in the noodles,” and, “What kind of crap is this?”  Etc.,
etc.

   I had no dog in this fight as I had opted for “something in gravy
over rice,” so I continued to enjoy my lunch.  Meanwhile, plates of
maggots over noodles began flying at the cooks till they elected for a
strategic retreat.  As soon as the Captain and his Lt. showed up, I
climbed out a window & headed for the PX.  Word went out that there
would be an “investigation” into the uprising.

   The next day, morning formation proved to be interesting and
amusing.  The results of the big investigation were as follows:

1.    What you were eating were not maggots, they were weevils.
2.    It’s OK to eat weevils, the government says we are “allowed” so
many per ton of grain product.
3.     In the future, there will be no more complaints about weevils.

   That’s why I love the Army.