The Birds Part II

Submitted by Taco Bell- Pilot at Large

Walking out of his room into the muggy Corpus August morning, Taco slowly recited his emergency procedures. Crossing the grass, he looked up to see his blue Chevy S-10 and part of it was covered in seagull poop. As bad as his truck was, it was nothing compared to Larry’s sand colored Toyota pickup truck. That was covered completely as if the birds just hovered over his truck and opened up the poop gates.

Cursing the birds for their revenge, he rushed to the car wash to remove the evidence from that night’s attack before heading to the Squadron. Larry came in about an hour later fuming about the birds attacking his pickup. Nobody really gave it much thought.

The next day, the same thing happened only two other unlucky bastards were parked on either side of Larry’s truck. It becomes almost a daily routine and no matter where in the parking lot that Larry parked, the next morning it was covered in seagull calling cards. After two weeks of this, Larry is beside himself and places a call to the animal control officer from the ready room. “Yes, I’m the one who was attacked by the skunk, No I didn’t provoke him he just went nuts….” There was a long pause. “No, I don’t have anything against seagulls except they crap on my truck.” Pause, “I want to know what you are going to do about these birds… pause… Yes I want you to kill them all… pause… What do you mean they are protected???”

This conversation overheard by all the students in the ready room brings lots of snickers as they sip their coffee. Adam says, “You know Larry, maybe it’s the color of your truck.” Larry turns around and says “What did you say? Color? Why do you think it’s the color?”

Adam looked around and with a wave of his arm across the room replies, “Well no one else here has a tan colored vehicle, so that must be it.” Everyone started nodding in agreement; of course the discussion of how birds could tell the difference in color AT NIGHT never came up. Larry left mumbling about how he might have to trade in his truck for another color.

That night at 1130pm, Taco was coming around the corner of the building with a load of clothes he had just dried. Across the night came the loud clear imitation of a seagull, “Hawwwwrrrrrrrrrkkkkk, Haaaawwwwwwrrrrrrk” and there in the parking lot next to Larry’s truck was someone clapping his hands. Walking where I could get a better view, I see that he has spread bread all over the hood, roof and bed of the truck and the birds aroused by his calling started landing on the truck to eat the bread.

Taco waited by the stairwell with his arms loaded in clothes for the mystery man to walk by. Adam almost ran Taco over as he turned to climb the outside stairwell. The surprised look on his face gave it away. “Taco, you can’t tell a soul about this!!! I mean it, no one!!” Taco just laughed and said, “Don’t worry, your secret is safe with me, but don’t you think every night is over doing it a bit?”

Adam just chuckled, “I wanted to do it a couple more times before he trades it in. The sucker truly believes it’s because of the color of his truck. I’m just pissed he turned us in, so I’m having a little fun with the turd.”

The two walked up the steps for a beer. Now as Paul Harvey says, “You know the rest of the Story.”